Someone HAD to say it sooner or later

from xkdc comics:

No I.D. = holiday!

8 AM:

"MEMO

Dear staff member,

Please be advised that all undergraduate students must now carry their student cards when on campus and show them to faculty members or security staff when requested.

Any person found without a valid ID card issued by the university will be asked to leave the campus immediately without exception."

8.15 AM:

"MEMO

This does NOT apply to staff !!!!!!"

_

The psychology of phrasing your information leaflets correctly

A note on phrasing information leaflets that any admin should be aware of:

What is wrong with the following sentence?

"You may apply between 8 am and 5 pm at the administration office, or send your completed application forms by registered post."

Ever since this sentence was included in our info leaflet, applicants turn up at the busy desk and announce: "I want to apply for that-and-that course". They are handed the correct form and a pen, and 10 seconds later this scene takes place:

"Uh, excuse me, what do I have to fill in here?" (points)

"Let me see - that's where you put your current address."

"Oh, thanks."

(10 seconds later)

"DOB - what does that mean?"

"Your date of birth."

"Ah, I see."

(15 seconds later)

"So, where these tick-boxes are, do I just tick the course I'm applying for?"

"Yes. Like it says there - 'tick the box for the course you're applying for' on the very next line."

"Oh, I hadn't got that far yet."

While the applicant is busy tackling the form, he inevitably asks every single question listed in the "Questions & Answers" section on page 3 of the information leaflet. After about 15 minutes, a half-filled in form is handed back. The admin takes one look and hands it back:

"Please also fill in your place of birth, nationality, phone number, emergency contact, and everything else you've left blank."

"Oh."

At this point the applicant stares at the form, pen hovering, but doesn't write anything.

"Uuuuuuhhhh, what do I have to write?"

"What's your nationality?"

"English."

"Well done, write British."

"Can't I write English?"

"No."

"Ah." ....... "And there?"

"Where were you born?"

"London."

"Write that."

"Okay."

He eventually finishes his form. Admin takes one look and hands it back.

"You'll need to date and sign the form."

"Oh sorry. What's the date today? Okay, there."

Administrator hands the form back yet again:

"Please SIGN the form...."

All of this changed dramatically when the offending sentence in the leaflet was changed to

"You may apply by submitting your enrollment forms between 8 am and 5 pm to the administration office, or by sending your completed application forms by registered post. Incomplete or unsigned forms will not be considered."

It is amazing how many complete forms this produces, with a minimum of time spent telling people how to write their own birthday on a piece of paper.

It's in the phrasing, baby!

_

Turning Japanese

Enquiry to a college in London, UK:

"My question to you is, are there requirements of Japanese Language proficiency for this course or can we get by with only english?"

TWO WEEKS AGO!

Prospective student complains on the phone that he asked to have information sent to his home address "at least two weeks ago, if not more" but nothing had arrived.

Admin apologises and asks for the name and address again, to make sure the requested information can be send ASAP.

When entering the details, the computer system prompts with the existing address.
On screen message:

* demand recieved: 8 days ago.
* brochures sent: 7 days ago.

Grrrr.....