The concise dictionary for college administrators

How to understand what your students are REALLY saying

last week
= this morning

2 weeks ago
= 8 days ago

3 weeks ago
= 10 days ago

last month
= 2 weeks ago

numerous times
= more often than 'never'

do the needful
= ...so I don't have to do anything

student loan
= somebody else's money

that's unacceptable!
= I don't like that you talk to me just like my mother would right about now...

security deposit refund
= any chance you'll refund me, even though I never paid one, because someone else in my class got one

I was here on time but no one was at Reception
= I got here 45 minutes late

The Supervisor couldn't help me
= I couldn't be arsed to go and look for one

I spoke to you before
= I planned to phone before

The girl at reception told me...
= I imagine somebody at reception might say...

I've emailed a couple of times but didn't hear back, I was wondering if perhaps my emails weren't getting through
= I am a diplomatic nice person who understands

I've emailed a couple of times but didn't hear back, can someone please answer!!!
= I am a twat, and you'll be in trouble when I tell my Mommy!!!

Hi, sorry to bother you.....
= nice student who will be successful in life

I'm paying your wages
= I suffer from delusions, don't break my bubble