The psychology of phrasing your information leaflets correctly

A note on phrasing information leaflets that any admin should be aware of:

What is wrong with the following sentence?

"You may apply between 8 am and 5 pm at the administration office, or send your completed application forms by registered post."

Ever since this sentence was included in our info leaflet, applicants turn up at the busy desk and announce: "I want to apply for that-and-that course". They are handed the correct form and a pen, and 10 seconds later this scene takes place:

"Uh, excuse me, what do I have to fill in here?" (points)

"Let me see - that's where you put your current address."

"Oh, thanks."

(10 seconds later)

"DOB - what does that mean?"

"Your date of birth."

"Ah, I see."

(15 seconds later)

"So, where these tick-boxes are, do I just tick the course I'm applying for?"

"Yes. Like it says there - 'tick the box for the course you're applying for' on the very next line."

"Oh, I hadn't got that far yet."

While the applicant is busy tackling the form, he inevitably asks every single question listed in the "Questions & Answers" section on page 3 of the information leaflet. After about 15 minutes, a half-filled in form is handed back. The admin takes one look and hands it back:

"Please also fill in your place of birth, nationality, phone number, emergency contact, and everything else you've left blank."

"Oh."

At this point the applicant stares at the form, pen hovering, but doesn't write anything.

"Uuuuuuhhhh, what do I have to write?"

"What's your nationality?"

"English."

"Well done, write British."

"Can't I write English?"

"No."

"Ah." ....... "And there?"

"Where were you born?"

"London."

"Write that."

"Okay."

He eventually finishes his form. Admin takes one look and hands it back.

"You'll need to date and sign the form."

"Oh sorry. What's the date today? Okay, there."

Administrator hands the form back yet again:

"Please SIGN the form...."

All of this changed dramatically when the offending sentence in the leaflet was changed to

"You may apply by submitting your enrollment forms between 8 am and 5 pm to the administration office, or by sending your completed application forms by registered post. Incomplete or unsigned forms will not be considered."

It is amazing how many complete forms this produces, with a minimum of time spent telling people how to write their own birthday on a piece of paper.

It's in the phrasing, baby!

_